How to hold onto good ideas?

It's proving to be hard

The thing about sticking with good habits that has always perturbed me is “Make them Convenient” How do I make writing newsletters convenient? It’s like the hardest thing to make work if you’re a chronic overthinker. I try to not diagnose myself if I can help it, but it needs to be said just this time. Yesterday marked the third month anniversary of my interest fizzling out of substack and moving onto the next shiniest object. I don’t even remember what it was, would’ve to check my morning pages. Speaking of morning pages, I started writing morning pages the week before I sort of quit Substack.

Oof, now I know I why sort-of quit.

They are three pages worth of nonsensical thoughtstream you write every morning, including but not limited to to-do lists, philosophy, yesterday’s musings, whatever. I have been benefiting greatly from morning pages. My brain is less cluttered, I remember innocuous details of last week that enriches my understanding of myself on a shallower level, as well as finding meaning behind my not-so-good moments. They also provide a respite from feeling the urge to go on Tumblr to word-vomit my every-thought into the void in the form of a text post. Social media is bad, even when it’s masquerading as a gen-z friendly anonymous space. It’s toxic as hell, Tumblr. I don’t go there anymore, it’s great.

What made me come back here? Back to Substack.

Last month, I started writing a story, a romantic comedy with a hint of drama. I’d written some five chapters, plotted the whole thing as best as a rookie writer could manage, and sent out google doc links to my friends and cousins. I was inspired by Show Your Work, okay. They read the chapters with interest and gave me pointers on stuff I had to work on more within the realms of the story, it was going great. I felt like this was a story that needed to be written. But, after 2-3 weeks of consistent writing and feedback, I lost interest into the wirings and the skeleton of the thing. The plot felt convoluted, and messy, the characters not realised enough, my writing chops nonexistent.

I stopped writing. But then, I got the next big idea just last week. A mythological- historical fantasy novel. Since I had no idea of plotting, I picked Plot Perfect by Paula Munier to aid me in weaving a tale. There’s of course reseach to be done and magic systems figured out, but I have the three acts planned and major themes sorted as of now. It is coming easy and I feel confident in the story’s potential, of my own show-don’t-tell prowess, if you will.

But, the doubt remains. My inability to not lose the plot. What if someday, could be this week, I wake up and not feel the familiar tug pulling me to imagine the scenes, what if I get busy with other pursuits, what if I get too obsessed with it and lock down progress in an effort to save myself? Because, believe it or not, I do have academic pursuits to pursue this year.

So, I can’t help but feel torn between those two things, one an antithesis of the other. I have fun with both of them, but it’s undeniable that one (studies) needs a certain immediacy. So, that’s where I’m at.

Until the answer surfaces itself, I’m going to try to go with the flow. Follow both boats until the tides hit. Use the 80-20 principle. 80 percent to studies and 20 percent to fiction writing. I’ve also started The War Of Art by Steven Pressfield, it’s not the answer but something closer to it than I can find at the moment.

I’ll take your leave now, until next time. No pressure ;)