It's a work in progress

Do prediction and consensus go hand in hand?

A cousin, 19 years my senior, got quite involved with Astrology when I was in middle school. He was particularly fond of hand reading and predicting our future career and relationships for us. According to him, my brother was on track to go abroad and win some prestige award. He wasn’t actually an astrologer, rather a practicing doctor with a professorship on the side. But he was also standing over the debris of his crumbling marriage that could seriously threaten his relationship with his children. Everybody in the family were trying their best to diffuse the situation, and therefore tolerating, as well as encouraging any and all diverging pursuits he might have needed to cope with the upheaval in his family life.

So, anyway, I saw everyone treating this new thing like some novelty, this highly educated guy adopting and reinforcing some of our ancient traditions was welcoming. Naturally, I participated. I thrust my dainty little right palm towards him with a silent request, “Tell me my future too.” This was right after we all had boisterously laughed over the prospect of my younger brother’s hypothetical marriages in different continents. He took my palm and studied it carefully, looked up at me, then down, seemed to think to himself. He ended up staying quiet. He must have excused himself sometime later, but I didn’t notice for I had retreated to my room and was busy overthinking the session to death.

I was already fearful of my introverted tendencies being potential hurdles in my future career. I was terrified of the open office plan, the constant group back and forth and, most of all, the creature named “The Boss.” Now this, this was something real, a tangible proof that I could not, would not amount to anything in life. But, at my core I didn’t really believe whatever his silence communicated. It was bunch of hogwash and it wasn’t like he was a licensed or any less amateur.

How do you think I coped with the latest problem?

About as well as a scaredy-cat 12 year old would. Hating confrontation, I stopped interacting with the astrologer cuz altogether, I already didn’t like him- it was easy.

Last year, I read books like Deep Work and Quiet that gave me much-needed reassurance that expecting/demanding downtime from your workplace IN your workplace is vital for consistently good quality work as well as for employees to enjoy sound mental faculties. I very much believe the hardcore anxiety inducing environment of HBO’s TV show Industry would not work if they eliminated the messy common desks, put them all in little cabins and encouraged deeper working hours with minimal checking of emails and group messages. It’s a great show but very stressful, could only sit through the first 3 episodes. Maybe it’s not for me.

As for continuing the little anecdote, I don’t have anything for you yet. No hero’s journey story of beating my inhibitions or conquering multiple fields because that would show him, surely. No, none of that. It’s not a novel, as much I’d like life to be. It’s ongoing, I’m working on it. I’m working on life.

My cousin is working on life too, in his way. He’s very into music and cycling these days. I would be happier if he weren’t telling my parents that 24 is the age that I should marry *sigh* My folks don’t entertain such sentiments.

This week was eventful. I read, studied, watched a few movies, caught up on a K-drama, read a few poems, thought about transcribing the Bhagavad Gita for myself, listened to podcasts and played with my nieces and nephew.

Most notable:

• Bodies Bodies Bodies- A slasher that surprised me with its hilarious quips, gen z humor (Hi, I’m one too even if I’m not American- I grew up with the internet) Great performances and a well-made movie

• Algorithms To Live By - Brian Christian and Tom Griffiths

• The Tell-tale Heart - Edgar Allen Poe

• Louise Stigell - An influential youtuber, artist and writer for me, recommend checking out her Substack too

• The Witch Trials of JK Rowling pod

Hope you’ll have a wonderful Sunday, and a great week ahead! Thanks for reading, subscribe to Winging It weekly, it would encourage me so much.